A Bit of a Disappointment

I spoke online with a young man who responded to me through another website about what I had written in my last entry about wanting something Hard soon.  He had a wonderfully intense mental and emotional game in mind and I was absolutely intrigued.  He sounded serious and realistic.  This was not to be a one-time thrill, but an involved psychodrama between us of the sort I rarely ever get to indulge in… one where I would need to get to know his mind intimately and then use that information against him.  He was an emotional masochist and it had the possibility of being something really unusual and special and deliciously extreme in impact for us both.

So we had one session where I started to get to know him, he seemed serious and realistic, still.

And then he chickened out on our next scheduled appointment without a word.  Didn’t do the assignment I gave him which was due a day before (which led me to expect the no-show, at least), either.

I’m not upset about it, but a bit disappointed.  It could’ve been a very interesting and entertaining interaction, but he didn’t stick around to let it grow.  It happens, people often in this realm bite off more than they can chew and then have to re-think it or get cold feet later.

I don’t understand it, as it doesn’t happen to me (I am one who checks with themselves before agreeing with or suggesting things, so I always know if I can handle something), but I accept that it happens with others.

I wish him well and who knows, maybe some day our paths will cross again?

But, it’s still a shame lol.  It was fun thinking on the possibilities, though, so it brought some extra light into my life for a few days.

Hard and Extreme Players

I desire to play harder than I have been lately.  I enjoy all of my sessions and scenes, but it’s rare to get someone you can play <u>hard</u> with.

I want to administer an old fashioned, out behind the shed beat down on a sub.  Start some music that gets my aggression pumping in me and take my hands and feet to them.  Slapping, punching, kicking, dragging them around by their hair and leaving them bruised, bloody and crying while thanking me afterwards.

I want to carve great intricate patterns into a sub’s flesh using my scalpels.  Marking them with that moment for the rest of their lives.  Seeing their blood run down them and mopping it up as I go.  Placing a beautiful modification in them while they sit and take it at my hand.  They submitting to my will, my judgement, on what the design shall be.

I want to financially rape a high income businessman, make him have to live on the barest of essentials that month(s).  Make him feel the experience of scrounging to pay the bills again (or especially, if it’s his first time having to), desperately counting his money to see what he can afford on food, wondering if the gas in his car will last long enough…  Suffer for me, baby, while I roll in your cash and laugh at you.

And I still crave to find some pretty, young woman with glorious long hair who I can strap into a chair in front of a public group and shave her head while she bawls over it.  Take away in minutes years of growing it out, caring for it daily, and in one moment drastically altering what she sees everyday in the mirror, how she views herself mentally.

Plenty more, too.  But basically I would just like a good heavy and emotional scene to come my way soon.

Breath Play and Ignoring

May or may not have a breath-play focused session today…

I was very much looking forward to it; rare and extreme kink + bonus fees = the best kind of session. I love it when I get to play hard or do something that rarely ever comes up, as with this guy who didn’t want just the lighter side of breath-play but harder.

A fellow domina and I were going to partner up on it.

…but it’s looking like he’s going to chicken out at the last minute. She sent him a confirmation email this morning, he read it and has not responded yet and it’s 40 minutes prior to the appointment.

The largest issue with this calling it the high # of no-shows.

Still, better that he skips out when I’ve not yet left home instead of how some leave you sitting at the meeting place without a word.

I don’t mind cancellations, just let me know (preferably 24 hours in advance, but anything is better than nothing).

On the bright side, I received an email from a sub I’ve been chatting with about a possible session when he’s in the area. The kinks of his are ones I find terribly fun and he’s been most courteous in our discussions, so I’m hoping things work out for a session tomorrow; he’s going to be in town. The delightfully fun kink? Sitting on him and ignoring him for hours. Ignore-play is a tremendous good time with the right person. Hahaha! Love it!

So, a frown on today’s would-be session not happening… but a smile on a possible one tomorrow. I’ve been looking forward to meeting up with the sub for tomorrow, so at least I also got good news today, too.